My long engament with the Piano

For the first time in years I have a Piano teacher. Once my nervousness disappeared I tried to concentrate on the technical aspects of the class; and, as it was to be expected, there were many.
It was only at the end that I felt a great emotion taking a hold of me... at last I had returned to my original love for this instrument.
I had to buy my own Piano a couple of years ago to finally decide it was time to reconnect with that passion I always felt. I was never forced to take Piano lessons... when I was 10 I conquered my shyness and asked my mum to hire a teacher for me and so she did. Unfortunately she was not the best of teachers, and had so many students, she wouldn‘t dedicate enough time and effort to each one. Although she was well known in the city, I realice now that I have been a teacher myself how many elemental aspects of playing the piano she overlooked; aspects that were fundamental for any student of music.
Not having a piano myself did not help at all... you cannot learn to play the piano without having one at hand every single day. I would visit my teacher‘s house despite my fearful nature but that was sporadic enough; and so very soon I quit. Soon after I felt bad for that choice; I thought that my shyness had, yet again, betrayed my deep desires and so I returned to her. Finally I left the class for good when at 14 I entered Highschool. Although school was never hard for me for the first time I was in one so demanding I would have to devote myself completly to it for the following three years which, being the typical good girl, I did.
In this case it was a reasoned decision that, although painful, was in the end necessary.
Why was I so emotional two weeks ago when I took my first lesson at home now and with my own Piano for the first time ever?
It was the physical acknowledgement of the fact that sometimes that which we want the most, that light born inside by a sort of spell, is the very thing we must give away. I chose duty over pleasure back then. I knew that I could not go against what everyone expected of me. And playing the Piano (although pleasant for everyone) was not prioritary in comparison to doing well at the school they had chosen for me long before.
Over the years I did my best to hold on to my limited knowledge... and in many ways I extended the little things I did learn, but why then, did it take so many years for me to truly decide that I wanted to play better? why did I wait so many years to pay my own way into having a proper teacher?
I regret that long wait now that my little girl wept when the class was over and felt at last rescued from the responsabilities and duties of ordinary life...
How many other things do we give up, renounce to, leave behind to attend what it is expected of us? to do as we MUST and not as we WANT?